Sonny's Birth Story

I am so excited to finally share the birth of Sonny! Since even before he was born, I’ve been looking forward to telling the story about how our son came into the world, but - who knew - welcoming a newborn into our family while homeschooling our three big kids in the midst of COVID is no joke :) That said, this unmedicated home birth will be remembered as one of my proudest moments as a mother and a person, and I am thrilled to share it with you!

To give a little context, Sonny is our fourth baby. My previous births were an unplanned c-section, hospital vbac, and another great hospital vbac that unfortunately resulted in an epidural headache that left me bedridden for two weeks. Because of those complications, my anesthesiologist strongly recommended that I NOT attempt another epidural. When we found out I was pregnant, I knew that I would have to give birth unmedicated which, after a c-section and my general negative association with the hospital, left me feeling apprehensive about unmedicated birth. I was confident I could do it, but it was a big unknown for me and my husband. This lead me to do a lot of research info unmedicated birth, hypnobirthing, and even lead me to consider a home birth. I never in my entire life thought I would be someone who could have a home birth. but I knew this was my last baby and I was open to trying something different! Finally, after chatting with my amazing doula and midwife, I decided I would attempt a home birth!

My pregnancy was relatively smooth and I went to 41+3 (the most pregnant I’ve ever been). The last couple weeks were really emotional, but I trusted by baby would be born when he was ready.

The night before I didn’t sleep well. I was having contractions that I swore were the real thing, but after a couple of hours they faded away. I had a midwife appointment scheduled later that day so I was eager to tell her about the night and see if there was any progress. 

I was feeling really emotional and discouraged. I was 41+2 and had never been this pregnant before. I was also planning a home birth and really wanted to avoid an induction (which was booked for Monday). At my appointment I posted to Instagram and asked anyone to share any positive stories about going past 41 weeks and you guys came though!! I sat reading your stories for so long and felt so encouraged and knew everything was going to be okay. 

I saw my midwife and she checked me and...nothing. No progress. Couldn’t even call it 2cm at that point and not effaced. Nothing. At this point I do know that cervical dilation doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with when you’ll go into labour, but it was still hard to hear after a night of timing consistent contractions. 

I went back home and my doula came over to do some acupressure with clary sage. For the rest of the day we just laid low. That night my mom, my husband and I watched TV, and two friends stopped by with baked bread and some encouragement. I started having light contractions when they were over, and my friend Anna noted that she could see my belly contracting. My mom went to bed, and Zach and I stayed up a little longer to see if things would progress. 

I ran a bath, got in, and started timing things. They were consistent (like the night before) and getting stronger and closer. I was too excited to sleep. We woke my mom back up after a little while and told her we thought it was time. I called my midwife and she decided to head over and check things out. It was about 2am now and I texted my doula to head over too. When my midwife checked me she said I was a 3-4 but that it was a totally different cervix! So effaced and stretchy and she could tell it was time!

Our midwife got set up, and I continued to labour in our bedroom with Zach by my side. My doula arrived shortly after, and my in-laws came (at 4am) to get the kids because - get this - Indie, for the first time in her life, woke up at 3 am ready to party!

With the kids picked up and my whole team around me, it was finally time to get into the birthing tub. 

Here is where things get really hazy. In a good way. I wish I could capture how it felt, but the moments in the birthing tub felt like time stood still and were pure magic. Our playlist was on, the contractions were coming steady and strong, and I knew I had to focus and breathe and lean into the pressure. I would get through a contraction and be focused on nothing more than breathing. Then once it subsided, the entire house was still and dark and quiet with just the soft music of my birthing playlist. It felt surreal and so much calmer than I thought it would be. I was surrounded by the most amazing people. Zach holding my hands, reading my affirmations to me, my doula applying counter pressure and supporting me through intense back labour, the comforting presence of my mom, my best friend and birth photographer Natalie, and my supportive midwives.

I laboured in the pool for hours. It sounds so long, but looking back it was one of my favourite parts. The contractions were exhausting but doable. I kept saying out loud “I can do this. I am doing this!” I started to notice the sun coming up and felt discouraged and tired, but I kept focus on my breathing that I learned in hypnobirthing and it helped so much. I was making deep sounds, due to the intensity, but I felt so calm. My midwife checked me and I was 7cm, which was not much change from the last check, and we wondered if the baby wasn’t in the best position.

After weighing some options, we decided to move to the bed and break my water. I was really hoping to avoid this, because I knew if there was any meconium in my water then it would be recommended that I transfer to the hospital for closer monitoring. But I had been at 7cm for a long time and was getting so exhausted. They broke the water, and thankfully the water was clear and we were good to stay home!

While they were breaking my water, they realized I had something called a cervical lip. I had heard of this before from my friend and knew it was quite uncomfortable. But at that point I didn’t care or even feel worried about dealing with the cervical lip. I had been awake over 24 hours and was ready to meet our baby.

I got on my back and attempted a couple pushes while my midwife manually held back the cervical lip. Honestly, I won’t go into detail here but this part was easily the most excruciating part of the whole experience and this is where I had my “I CANNOT DO THIS” moment. Labour was hard, but this was on another level! I was excited to be pushing a little and thought baby would be here in minutes, but this lip was holding him back and I needed to labour in several other positions to try and get him in the right spot. 

I took a break from pushing and moved to the bathroom to sit backwards on the toilet. This was to angle the baby’s head back and try to move him down a little more. These surges were incredibly intense, and I even asked to go to the hospital (even though I would never have made it!) My husband was praying over me and my doula was there supporting me through the intensity of everything. They wanted me there for 7 contractions but I could only do four before needing to get up for some relief. From there I moved to a birthing stool set up in our living room. This allowed my midwife to hold back the cervical lip through contractions and allowed gravity to do some more work. After about 2 contractions on the stool, the baby’s heart rate dropped. The tone of the midwives changed, and I could hear it, but I was so focused and in my own world. I wasn’t worried. I knew that my midwives knew what to do, and I tried to keep calm and just focus on breathing. Pretty quickly, they got me up, walked me down the hall, put me onto my right side on the bed, and told me to PUSH! This pushing was different than before. I finally felt a strong urge and found a sudden burst of energy!

It was 9:38 and with 2 pushes his head was out! With the next contraction his body was born, and he was placed immediately onto my chest. Everyone cleared off the bed and it was just me, my husband by my head, and our perfect baby boy. He was pink and beautiful and let out some cries right away. We got 12 minutes of delayed cord clamping and got to snuggle skin to skin together in bed. I felt so much in those moments. So much relief, disbelief that I did it at home, disbelief that I did it at all. I was shaky and had to receive a few stitches but all I could see was my sweet boy on my chest, just minutes old, the missing piece that would complete our family. 

After the birth and everything medical was tested and taken care of, my incredible midwives and doula cleaned up our house and put fresh sheets on our bed. Within an hour or two of him being born, I was snuggling in a clean bed with our perfect baby boy. We ate sandwiches, relaxed, and celebrated what had just happened. Zach took Sonny to the living room to watch some Marvel movie while my mom and I napped in my own bed, so proud of what had just happened.

It’s funny, but I remember getting pregnant for the first time with our oldest and delivering him via c-section in the hospital. I had no idea what to expect, and while I’m so so happy that we had a healthy baby boy at the end of the day, a part of me had to mourn some negativity I attached to that experience. It wasn’t until choosing to do a home birth years later that I became proactive about learning how to manage the pain and pressure of labour. My husband and I laugh because it wasn’t until our fourth child that we felt like we really understood everything that goes into giving birth!

I know that a home birth isn’t for everyone, but it felt like a beautiful full circle moment for me. Going from associating birth with trauma and pain to associating it now with an experience that was incredibly beautiful and empowering. I couldn’t have done it without the incredibly supportive community around me both in-person and online, and I am so happy that regardless of your birthing experience, that none of us have to do it alone :)

Thanks so much for reading!